Merigian Studios


The Perfect Woman

The Perfect Woman

A woman came into the office and told me that her New Year's Resolution was that she was going to be the Perfect Woman. Who or what is the perfect woman? I have given great thought to this question, mostly because I care for a number of female patients who strive every day to be perfect. No matter what I read, I can’t quite come up with the perfect answer.

What is perfect in reference to a woman? There must be some scale by which to measure a woman's perfection. Is it their physical shape? Is it their mental capacity? Is it their Spirit or Soul that makes them perfect? Isn’t the perfect being imperfectly perfect?

Time changes everything and most of us age as time progresses. Time is essentially a measurement of movement through space. Man created time to help understand the Earth's travel around the sun. Over time, pain and suffering eventually comes to an end. All good and joyous things have their own life spans. The very nature of life unfolding is just cycles of different realities occurring over and over again. The Sun sets and rises, the stars come out and disappear. In man’s collective eye, what is perfect today may be average tomorrow. However many of us still seek absolute perfection. Nature is the only perfect force on our planet. It knows no judgment, therefore Nature appears to have no need for mercy. There are no absolutes only relative thoughts. Some would say that the perfect woman must be strong, able to change with whatever forces appear without judgment. What is, is what works.

I have read that the beauty of the perfect woman lies in her heart. Some believe the very essence of womanhood is to nurture and love: the Divine Feminine. The perfect woman helps others without sacrificing who she is. Kind, sharing and empathetic is all part of the perfect woman. The perfect woman forms opinions about others as to judge them for fitness, not right or wrong. She is self-expressive and flamboyant. She is connected to the collective consciousness and recognizes the imperfections of her intuition. She knows who she is, where she is and why. She will always choose change to better herself. She will not change to meet the wants of others nor will she demand that others change to meet her wants and desires. She knows the difference between desires and necessities.

Some would say that the perfect woman refuses to act in an unloving way. She never needs to apologize for any action because her state of mind is always loving. But love can be misshaped. The perfect woman is open to free thought, she is not afraid to take on new challenges and explore new ideas. She can endure risks as long as she knows what they are. The perfect woman knows no fear for fear reflects only the unknown. There are times when she faces the unknown, but she has the wisdom to find a loving solution to each challenge. A perfect woman recognizes that what you fear, you become.

Others say that the perfect woman believes children are innocent and her desire to bear them comes when the time is right. She wants to be a part of the greater good of her family. She will forsake all external forces for love. The perfect woman knows boundaries and respects them, but her boundaries are related to the golden rule: do unto others, as you would wish others to do unto you. This does not mean she cannot have a life outside of her family. She prioritizes her loving actions. She honors her children as she wishes to have them honor her. Her goal for rearing children is to create independent, sober, productive adults. She is truthful to herself and to others regardless of the circumstance.

Many say the perfect woman believes that sexual intimacy is a union of mind, body and spirit. She realizes that it rejuvenates the essence of life itself and the unions of souls make each mate stronger. Children can be conceived as a result of the union, but it is not the goal of congress. The moments of erotic pleasure are fleeting, but the memories of each encounter last a lifetime. Each moment of bliss builds a bridge of love that will originate from each peak and span every valley in life. She gives freely to her desires of self-love to create beauty. She is happy to share her physical nature with her mate and encourages its growth as if it were a separate life within itself. She teaches and is taught at the same time.

I believe that most of all, the perfect woman has a true authentic self and seeks true authentic love. It is not a love that comes and goes with time or season; it is a love that grows with happiness, pain and sorrow. The perfect woman asks questions and is not afraid to hear the truth. The perfect woman harbors no anger or fear, for she is aware that these emotions are rooted only in greed. She is aware and not jealous, she is confident and not vengeful. The perfect woman is simple yet sophisticated. She recognizes that everyone has value, and the most valued are honest and caring people. The perfect woman believes there are no absolutes, that truth changes with time and that people are innately good. The perfect woman is patient, always.

Is it possible for this woman to experience an epiphany and become a perfect woman? Perhaps. But if she rises from the ashes of her fallen world, if she somehow dismisses our cultural norms, if she rejects our society which places a premium on the materialistic or the physical, I believe she just might stand alone for the rest of her life.

Because she will uncover another, more disturbing truth: there are no perfect men with whom to share her life, give her comfort or provide her the security she needs to be the Perfect Woman.

Posted by Amanda Sanders at 10:39 AM
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